Weatherman=Metrosexual

Dallas... Austin... Denver... Western Cities, u say? Think again. They are the Metro-ologists who deliver the 5-day forecast on your local NBC affiliate. By far the most vain career of all. They make game show hosts look like Peace Corp Volunteers. They're hair is perfectly feathered(a la Ted McGinley). The skin is a faux pink-bronze that looks painted on. Fake baking is out, misting is so in! The tweased eyebrows and veneers are dazzling!

So my question before writing this blog was, how come all weathermen are metrosexuals? To answer this question you must look at what a metrosexual is. They are all about appearance and getting laid. They could care less about substance, hard work, or merit. When looking for careers they spotted the weatherman position. With as little as 5 minutes of work a day they could gain civic recognition, unearned glory, and makeup-driven facetime to thousands of single women. After re-reading this paragraph, I realize these guys are much smarter than me.

Weathermen aren't just part of the metro-revolution, they founded it. People like Dallas Raines(see pictured) were trailblazers for the Seacrests, Pitts, and Beckhams of the world. He was mudmasking and getting "peddies" for 25 years. Way before it was chic!


Side News:

*SCORES got busted for tax evasion and money laundering. I love it! Strip clubs have been fucking me over for years. It's about time they get raked over the coals. I do feel bad for Lonnie though.

**This entry got me thinking: I can't wait for the E! True Hollywood Story of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Do you think any of the guys will have a breakdown and admit that he was actually NOT gay? He was just a metrosexual actor that needed a job?

***Grandpa Munster passed away. Keep it real up there homey!

****Tommorrow there will be an update on that offtrack betting story in the Himalayas. It's a smaller story, but I know you have been following it.