2:20 AM Sunday, January 29th

I got woken up by the South Americans upstairs. They were crankin some techno song. Great stuff. Some shitheads thinking they are the Iglesias familia in Ibiza. It's pronounced "ahBethhha". So fucking annoying.

Great News. Running Scared is on TBS. Can you imagine the pitch to get this made? "Okay... An effiminiate black tap-dancer teams up with the gay Jew from SOAP. They are best friends and hard-nosed street cops from the South side of Chicago, but want out after a dolphin-shorts-filled vacation in the Keys."

I guess I will see what is happening in the kitchen. That is exactly 2 feet away from the TV. Not much, I see. I guess I will make myself some cereal. Maybe that will put me to sleep.

Nope, but Crystal and Hines nabbed Jimmy Smits. They are going to retire in Florida at 35. Sounds pretty good actually. But, on the other hand, I don't think Florida is the place to get away from loud South Americans....

What else is on? Who's Eating Gilbert's Grape nuts? I never saw this. Damn that bitch is huge. The Score is on, "Bybye Dannnnny, ByBye" Norton is the best actor of our generation. Oh, I found it. The only show on MTV I can stand... "Next" I have always been a huge fan of dating shows. The Dating Game, Love Connection, Studs. I like the new generation better though... more fights, more fake-baking, more cheeseballs, more lapdances and more fake tits. Bummer, the first half is a black date.... Another 15 minutes of channel-surfing. Goddamn. Is it me, or has every younger chick gotten fat? Our generation of 30-something males that want to cradle-rob have gotten fucked. Oh lord, these fat bitches are whining about small dicks. How classic. I have never ever ever complained about a chick's loose vagina and I promise that guys enjoy the physical aspect of sex more than women. So why do chicks make such a big deal about it? Penis Envy? I got it, my next blog will be "Does vagina size matter?"

Eat me...